I don't know why I do it.

Yes I am avoiding you.
No its not because I have changed my mind.
Tomorrow I will speak to you.
Wait…
No, I am too nervous. Didn’t you see my almost spill my tea when you said ‘Hey’ at lunch?
Prayer night?
Yes I was there.
I wanted to go over there and pray for you but my courage couldn’t lift me off my chair.
I stayed in my seat and prayed – long distance.
Maybe it is just all in my head since you havent said a word…

 

And in other news…
My little and only sister (who I refer to as C) has been diagnosed with ‘Swine flu symptoms’. When I read the email I shook my head. I have two options. Pull a JOB (the one in the Bible, not job as in work) or pull a HABAKUK (surprisingly you didn’t confuse that one!). I can sit in a heap and cry ‘o God why me, this year sucked’ or I can stand up and shout at the top of my lungs ‘Yet I will praise the LORD…’ I am choosing option B. I know God has  a reason for this. I pray that He will meet her there, in her bed and reach her heart. Please pray with me.

 

Oorwinning!

This is the word we use in Afrikaans for when someone has beaten something. Maybe conquer is the better word. Or victory…Well you get the point. I just returned from Ship shop. (our onboard shop that is stacked full of yummy chocolate, cookies, Pringles and so many other delicious goodies.) I went up there to get a snack. By snack I mean the healthier option – nuts. First I stopped by my accountable friend to see if she was available to go to the ship shop with me, but she was busy. I had to do this on my own. So I climbed all twelve stairs and turned right at the top. Then  as short left. As soon as I got to deck 7 I ducked into the Library and decided to get another book to read. I was stalling. I drew courage from somewhere (has to be Jesus because I prayed about food and my problems with it just last night – and He knows my heart). So I walked up to the not-too-friendly-ship-shop girl and asked her for a bag of peanuts and a small packet of Doritos. Then I reversed and ran down the stairs before the chocolate voices reached my ears.

So here I am sitting in my office without chocolate. Oorwinning! Victory! Beaten! Yay!

31 + 4 = -1(12)

For the last 35 days I have been challenging my eating habits. I have failed a few times and given in to the cake (Sunday is cake day!) but only had ‘pre-planned’ chocolate 3 times. I am feeling so good about myself at the moment and I hope that this lifestyle will not fade. I will try my best to keep going. To date I have lost a total of 12 kilograms (not all of it during the 35 days, a bit before) and I am keeping track I still have 36 weeks to go. (The chart where I keep track allows for 40 weeks). Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Once we leave this port where restrictions keep us from walking in the morning (the quayside is slippery – I fell already) we will get back to exercising.

Now that I am taking not thinking so much about the food anymore, I hope to focus on my spiritual life as well. This morning I read a verse that blew my mind. It is in Psalm 17 the very last verse. It says:

 

¹⁵ As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
         I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

 

I was talking to one of my friends about this yesterday…I don’t want to be satisfied with my spiritual walk until I reach heaven… Watch this space. God is working!