The dad shaped hole

As you read the post i wrote on the 4th of December you might have wondered what is going on. Well i would only explain it as a difficult relationship between me and my dad. I love him so much but i don't like him at the same time. Our relationship, or should i say our lack thereof, has hurt many aspects of my life. I struggle with building relationship because i am scared that people will not like me. I don't know how to behave around guys and often just turn into a silent witness, not saying anything and just watching. I also recently discovered that my overeating stems from our relationship. Yes...i am trying to fill this dad-shaped hole in my life, with food, chocolate, books, movies and did i mention food? I know that this hole should only be filled by God and this is the quest i am currently on. I am reading a book (long miracle-story of how i got it) called "A Dad-shaped hole in my heart. How God wants to heal the wounds caused by your earthly father". Long title but it works. So i am reading through this book and i am realizing everyday how little i know my dad. So i will attempt writing letters asking him questions and i am hoping that he will answer them. In a way the last drawing i posted was also about him...he was one fo the cords holding me back.
Enough seriousness for tonight...