one year

I have been dreading this day for a weeks.

Last week I didn’t want it to come.

The weekend it was the big mountain ahead of me.

Today I am struggling to maintain the façade.

One year.

Three hundred and sixty five days.

Fifty two weeks.

Litres and litres of tears shed.

A single year…it feels like 20 but also just 2 days.

So far I have made it through the day without crying.

So far…

I feel like this little fact should be something to be proud of.

But I am not.

I don’t want people to know how much it STILL hurts – after a year.

I want to be strong.

For them,

For me.

In my heart I know that Oupa is in a much better place.

I just miss him so much…

 

I want to say something to finish this post on a profound note, but all I can muster up at this point is knowing that God will get me through this next year too.